This post was written when I was 5 weeks pregnant. Only decided to share after 2 years…
I am pregnant…
We have been trying for a long time and finally…
We started to “try” from September 2017. I downloaded period tracker apps, bought ovulation digital test kit and keep a healthy lifestyle. Before that, I was the only one “trying”.
It was a huge learning curve for me while husband just “followed” me. It is quite embarrassing to say that I did not have enough sex education. Back in school, what they taught me is not enough. Too much important details are left out.
Naively thinking, if we had sexual intercourse, we will get pregnant.
We tried for a year and nothing happened. My constant testing for pregnancy only came with disappointment.
Hence, we decided to see a gynaecologist in Hong Kong. After the uncomfortable check, we were told that I was healthy. Doctor suggested husband to do a sperm test which I have been requesting him to do for months.
Do not understand why men refuse this when it doesn’t even hurt while the wives are struggling mentally and had to go through many invasive testing.
I was on the breaking point. Having a family is what we wanted but I felt I was left all alone to manage it. I am someone who is blunt. I told him how I felt. If he does not want to do the sperm test, he is not helping but I respect his decision.
However, his decision will come with consequences. If he refuse, I will stop trying to conceive and will consider separation. I do not wish to be in a marriage where one party constantly communicate but ignored. I felt disrespected and not treated how I need to be treated. Husband and wife need to support each other. I strongly believe I have been doing my best but my needs had been ignored.
This is not a healthy marriage. We discussed and he decided to take the sperm test. Results? No issue. Doesn’t even hurt at all, did it?!
Hence, we decided to try for another year. I continue with my thrice weightlifting and twice yoga a week exercise routine.
I did went to see a Chinese doctor and was told I was healthy. In fact, I was “strong” and would get pregnant easily… Guess I do not have to see Chinese doctor too. Now, it just comes down to probability of getting pregnant?
After about another year, July 2018, I went to seek doctor in Singapore for next step. However, she wanted me to relax and try for another 3 months before seeking the next step (IVF).
Singaporean doctor has been very kind. She told me if both parties have no issue, we should try naturally instead of IVF.
After 3 months (October 2018), still no results.
Hence, we discussed about me taking the HSG test. HSG test is a blue ink test to see if the fallopian tubes are blocked or not. Heard it was a painfully process but husband’s cousin did it and got pregnant after a few months. I was scared but I decided this would be the last resort I would try.
However, my husband was busy with work and February 2019 was the month we decided to do the HSG test. In the meantime, we continued to try in November and December 2018.
My husband has been travelling intensively since 6th December 2018. I bought ClearBlue Ovulation Digital Test Kit (10pcs + free digital pregnancy test kit) and brought it along for our Japan & Europe trip.
Honestly, I know when I ovulate but the OPK (Ovulation Predictor Kit) is an assurance. I tried testing and got a smiley face in December 2018. I was reluctant but my husband insisted to do the deed.
After a few days, I got really sick. I was feverish with cough and sore-throat. I was badly sick for 2 weeks while I was in Netherlands. I did my 2 minute planking but was struggling. It was strange because it never had been an issue.
I felt tired and sleepy. It might be the medications I had and traveling from Japan to Europe and back to Japan.
I came back to Hong Kong to rest before heading to Singapore as I was really tired. Husband was still in Japan for his business trip. For the past 4 days after I got back, I just slept in bed. I had very bad period cramps and backache which I have not had after exercising regularly.
Finally, the day came and I had to hit the gym. I got an extra digital pregnancy test kit and decided to test before I hit the gym.
I was shocked and quickly texted my PT to cancel my session. Mentally, I cannot lift after knowing I got pregnant.
So the first person to know about my pregnancy was my PT.
Then I texted my husband with the picture. He called and asked me what does it mean?!
He asked me to get more test kits, better to get Japanese brand…
I sent this to him and he was really shocked. You know what, he asked me to go get blood test to confirm my pregnancy…
Did it too and it was positively pregnant for sure.
We decided to go ahead and fly to Singapore for my BFF’s wedding. Throughout the trip, I was exhausted. I could barely keep my eyes open and blood circulation was bad.
Came back to Hong Kong and pregnancy symptoms got worst. Initially, I still went for weightlifting when I was 7 weeks pregnant. I was deadlifting 60kg.
After that week, I vomited badly… How bad? I need to have a plastic bag hanging around because it came quick. I could not hold food for more than 30 minutes.
I had to split my meal into 3-4 portions but I still vomit. This continued till the day before I gave birth.
I tried to live a normal life. First 4 months, I was bed-ridden. I could barely pull myself up. I kept losing weight, only managed to put on weight when I was 7 months pregnant.
During my pregnancy, we travelled to Hawaii when I was 5 months pregnant and Japan when I was almost 7 months pregnant. We also moved to a bigger unit.
Traveling that time was a torture. I had to excuse myself and vomit. Walking was exhausting.
I did not know I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Pregnancy was both a mental and physical struggle. I did my best to keep the baby healthy.
Also had to prepare everything by myself as husband is busy with work. Honestly, looking back, I did not know how I did it all by myself. I hand-washed all the items, setup the baby highchair, stroller etc. Except for the baby crib, I got someone to set it up.
The day before giving birth, I was still vomiting.
Extremely bad swelling
I had natural birth with no epidural. When I reached the hospital, I was dilated 4cm… I fell asleep while waiting for dilation to reach 10cm… Yes, I fell asleep… My husband woke me up and told me I was ready to push…
Just when you thought after giving birth, things would be better… Baby had to be in the ICU for first 3 days…
We visited him at the ICU every day…
Husband took a picture of me… Exhausted mentally and physically…
I had to go through clogged milk ducts, nightmares, episiotomy did not heal well and worried about my baby’s health… I was crying in my sleep and waking up in tears…
Looking back, it was such a journey. I am so thankfully that my baby is healthy, safe and happy.
Do not know how all other moms did it but we all do our best.
There is still a long journey ahead.
Till then…
Jessica Tamaki 