I shall be very honest…
Working for 12 years has been a roller coaster ride, mentally, physically and emotionally. I was someone who just follow the rules and do what was told when I started working. Just like any new fresh graduate, thinking that I could make a difference.
Naive? I thought race, gender, qualification, social background and other factors do not matter as long as you do your work well. Keep pushing yourself and improve, that is all it matters.
I came to realise what I thought are my values and principles. Everyone is different. You need to find a company that shares the same values and principles.
I was so unhappy with my work that I lost sight of what I need in life, health.
I am very grateful to my husband, I am able to change my job to a housewife. Seems like emotionally, mentally and physically, I am back to my 20s. Calm, positive and pushing myself in everything I do.
It is crazy but I hardly fall sick like I used when I was working. I had sufficient sleep of minimum 8 hours. Below is my sleep pattern.
My menstrual cycle is usual. I can feel my body changing. I know when I am ovulating and when my period is coming. I can predict pretty well without the help of any apps or test kits. Before, I puke every time my period comes. I was in pain when I am on my period.
Now, I am exercising 5 times a week and watching my diet. Period has been a breeze.
I spend most of my time studying and learning. Of course, I had to cook and clean like a housewife too. That also took some of my time.
I managed to pass JLPT level every 6 months for N3 and N2. To me, it is a great achievement. I took intensive classes 4 times a week. Had to keep up with the classes and also homework. On top of that, I did personal studying for the JLPT exams. Now, I am left with a month to study for JLPT N1. I doubt I can pass the first time trying but I shall push myself as much as possible.
Once I am done with JLPT N1, I would like to pursue my Masters.
Do I miss working in the corporate world? I miss putting my skills to use and make a difference but I do not miss the hierarchy system and how women are treated differently or how women should behave in a certain way.
My life has been good. I am thankful for the good and bad people I met while working. Now, my social circle is smaller than previous. Of course, I deliberately keep it that way.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BpUmOdcnGd7/?taken-by=jessicatamaki
I keep it pretty small, just classmates, my personal trainer, friends, family, my husband and Lilo (my cat).
Of course, life is never a breeze. There are things that you cannot control but you just need to keep trying. No one’s life is prefect. Social media is an illusion. People only post the good stuff.
My current worries are:
1. How to curb my cravings for junk food
2. When is Lilo going to pee outside of the litterbox
3. Will I pass my JLPT N1
4. Will I ever get pregnant
5. Does my husband have enough rest
6. Do not want to travel for a month
7. Can I collect enough stickers to get Jamie Oliver’s kitchen knife
Hahaha… I am actually quite happy with where I am right now. I am surprised but isn’t it nice to keep things simple?
Appreciating life but still learning skills so I can be financially independent, just in case I ever need to.
Till then…
Jessica Tamaki 