Cucumber is a fruit; I was four decades old before I knew this. The realization came from a random chat with an old friend. We both laughed after googling it.
Metaphorically speaking, I have been living like a cucumber: a fruit that looks like a vegetable. Unlike tomatoes or eggplant, it has the color of a vegetable (green) despite being a fruit.
Still, despite being straightforward and unvarnished, I get dismissed.
I could list them explicitly, but I won’t. I want the point to land without spelling it out.
However, I do understand this is part of a human flaw. The constant use of System One… I guess this is why Anna Delvey managed to fund her lavish lifestyle through deception. She presented what people want to see.
I felt it was unnecessary to live up to anyone’s perception. To be honest, their reactions were never about you; they were about their insecurities.
Majoring in programming was the best decision I ever made. It taught me how a bug could screw up a program. The sense of relief and achievement when the program finally runs. Using the skills I learned, I have automated many tasks.
I have often been perceived as not fitting conventional expectations. Although I was often told I seemed better suited to a creative or business-oriented role, I consistently pursued what interested me, regardless of others’ assumptions. My life has been marked by ongoing change, and I often hear doubts about my potential for success due to my varied career path. Initially, I was a programmer, then I moved into administrative work while trying to establish myself as a dancer for local celebrities, before later transitioning into marketing. After accumulating these varied experiences, I chose to leave the workforce to start a family. A decade after stepping away from my career, I decided to return to school for further education.
Mixed reactions: people who encourage, some who scorn or subtly dismiss you. I see it all and re-evaluate my relationships with them, just for my mental health.
Never understood external validation because I never got it growing up. Constantly being told I was not good enough was an unhealthy coping mechanism for their personal insecurities. Any mentally healthy person would not tell a ten-year-old that she wasn’t good enough, despite her best efforts. Especially to your own child…
I learned about autonomy and self-concept through constant learning during my formative years. Somehow, doing so would also “offend” people.
I am enraged by assumptions that minimize the effort behind my hard work. Somehow, it is easily achieved. I detest the laziness of the mental process…