Sometimes you can’t understand someone else’s struggle. Someone told me I would only be able to relate once I become a mom.
I am a mom of two; my experience has been different. A daily reflection before I sleep has been my way. Being brutally honest with myself, admitting the wrongs and how I can be better.
I apologise and hold myself accountable for the changes. How do I expect my children to change if I don’t? Active listening, internalising, and adapting.
The smile on my children’s faces and the light in their eyes filled them with happiness and acceptance.
“Mommy, you listened!!!”, “Mommy, you love me so much!!!” etc. Words from my autistic son.
Change isn’t the most challenging; consistency is. Everyone copes differently. I want mine to be healthy. It is not only for myself but also for my children, their future partners, and the next generation, if there ever is one.
There are times when I lost it, and I felt how broken I was when I expressed my frustrations in that way.
Each day is a blessing. My children enjoy the daily debates where we address our feelings, things we don’t like, and how to manage similar situations next time. The main point is having an agreement, not winning an argument.
My ultimate goal is to have my children calling me out for dinner or travel trips when they are adults. They still like having me in their lives despite living their own lives.
Love,
A tired mom
Jessica Tamaki 