Honestly, I do not know where to start. Leaving Singapore came unexpectedly… A lot of changes for me. I quit my job and became a housewife. Working for past 13 years, I constantly seek for upgrading skills, feedback and progression.
Everything went too fast. After quitting, I went traveling for almost 3 months in total. It has been a blast. I never really quite “internalise” the idea of relocating as a housewife but I guess I am finally “feeling” it.
The last time I left home was when I was 5. Leaving Indonesia to Singapore for better education. I was away from parents. I do not know how I did it but I guess I just adapt.
It might be easier because I am moving within Asia but it is so wrong. Different language and culture all over again. I remember vividly how I was unable to express myself in English to my teacher when I started attending school in Singapore.
Later on, how I had communication problems with my younger sister because I spoke in English while she spoke in Bahasa Indonesia. We were just shouting at each other, trying to be understood.
A lot of adapting needed again. Unable to speak the local language frustrates me as I am able to understand a little but unable to respond quickly or at all.
I used to question why expat wives would stay within their communities. Now, I kind of understand why communities exist. A group of people going through similar experiences, reaching out for help and providing help to others, without much communication & culture barriers.
I am someone who is very task-oriented so my husband assigned me to manage everything from buying furnitures for our new place, getting broadband, shipment of our items from Singapore etc. Honestly, I am the only one who has the time to do it while he has to focus on work.
At the same time, I need to prepare for JLPT & GMAT. Classes here are taught in Mandarin Chinese or Cantonese so I need to find classes that are taught in English.
There are 3 transitions going on for me:
1. Becoming a housewife
2. Adapting to a new country
3. Trying to have a family
I feel pressure from others. I know they were just asking questions but I do not have the answers to them. A simple question like “Will you look for a job?”.
Honestly, I would like to work. At the same time, being a housewife is also a job. A job that has indefinite responsibilities. People need to give more credit to housewives & mothers.
I am thankful I am given time to consider what I want to achieve. I want to go back to university and take my Masters. My previous role was to create visibility for confectionary products. However, I realised people are changing the way they shop. Whatever you do 3 years ago does not work…
I would like to work on big data and analyse them. Make sense out of the data and provide constructive strategies. It means I would need to get back to my programming days. How lovely to work with data.
Anyway, for my role as housewife is to ensure my husband and cat is well taken care of. At the same time, to schedule some time for studying.
As for adapting to new country, I think I have no issue on food. Just need to watch my waistline. I walked a lot to explore and get myself familiarised with the neighbourhoods. I look like a local, just not able to speak the local language but I will pickup the language within a year.
A lot of figuring out time like finding a nice yoga place to go. I really miss Yoga Movement back in Singapore. Tried to signup for KFit but payment cannot seem to go through with PayPal. Already sent email to check and waiting for their feedback on solution. Shopping seems much harder because I need to do mental calculation to convert to Singapore dollars or Japanese Yen.
Lastly, having a family is something beyond our control. I will just make sure we are both healthy and happy.
I think I will do just fine because of my supportive husband and silly cat, Lilo. She made our relocation so much more interesting.
Heading to Japan next week but I will try to update my trip to Europe & US soon.
Till then…
Jessica Tamaki 